Evangelism
The question about suffering is often not an argument but a wound. Here is how to listen first, what the Bible honestly says, what not to say, and how to point a hurting person to a God who suffered with us.
4 min read · November 11, 2026 · By Daniel Ziedins
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33
Sooner or later, in almost every gospel conversation, someone asks it: "If God is good, why does he allow suffering?" Sometimes it is a philosophy question. Much more often, it is a person standing in front of you with a hospital, a funeral or a broken home behind their eyes.
How you answer matters less than how you listen first.
Before you give an answer, ask a question back: "That's a real question. Can I ask what's behind it for you?" Then listen. You may hear about a parent who died young, a child who is sick, a war in their home country, or abuse nobody stopped.
Now you are not debating an idea. You are sitting with a person. That changes what you say, and how.
When Job lost everything, his friends did one thing well before they did many things badly: "they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was" (Job 2:13). Their trouble started when they began to explain.
You do not need to fill the silence. "I'm so sorry. That's awful" is a complete sentence. Paul told the church in Rome to "mourn with those who mourn" (Romans 12:15). Grief shared is not grief fixed, but it is grief that is not alone.
It is fine to say, "I don't know why God allowed that." The Bible does not give us the reason for every specific pain, and pretending it does usually wounds people. But the Bible says a great deal that you can share honestly:
Christianity does not say suffering does not matter. It says God entered it, carried it on the cross, and will one day end it.
Some well-meant lines hurt people deeply. Avoid them:
If you have already said one of these, it is fine to say, "I said that badly. I'm sorry."
The gospel is good news for suffering people, not a change of subject. When it is right, and usually after you have listened for a while, ask permission: "Can I tell you why I still trust God when things are this hard?"
Then keep it short and personal. Jesus knows what suffering is from the inside. He died for our sin and rose again, which means death does not get the last word, for him or for anyone who trusts him. How to share the gospel in five minutes has a simple outline, and Your Story in 60 Seconds helps if God has met you in your own pain.
Ask, "Would it be okay if I prayed for you right now?" If they say yes, pray briefly, use their name and the name of the person they lost or the thing they are carrying, and do not promise what God has not promised. How to pray for someone who is sick and Pray With Someone have simple words.
Then do the thing most people do not: come back. Text them on the hard anniversary. Ask how they are doing a month later. Write down the name, the loss and a next step so you do not forget; Kingdom Base is free and reminds you when it is time. How to answer common objections to Christianity covers this and six other questions people ask.
If someone is in danger, thinking of ending their life, or being harmed, help them contact local emergency services or a crisis line straight away, and involve your pastor.
The Bible does not give a full explanation for every instance of suffering. It does say that the world is broken by sin, that God is close to the brokenhearted, that Jesus himself suffered and died and rose again, and that God promises a day when there will be no more death, mourning, crying or pain (Revelation 21:4).
Usually a question back: "Can I ask what's behind that for you?" Many people ask because of a specific loss or pain. Listen to the story before you offer any answer.
Avoid explaining their pain away ("everything happens for a reason"), suggesting it is their fault or a lack of faith, or rushing to a neat answer. Job's friends were right to sit with him in silence and wrong when they started explaining.
Yes, gently and at their pace. The gospel speaks directly to suffering: Jesus wept at his friend's grave, suffered on the cross, and rose again. Ask before you share, keep it short, and offer to pray and to keep walking with them.
Nobody forgotten. Kingdom Base is a free command center for the Great Commission — log the people you meet, follow up faithfully, and make disciples. Start free.
Scripture quotations taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.